In this time of COVID-19, the Golden Rule is more crucial than ever By Dr. Don Daake

To be published in the Kankakee Daily Journal Wednesday, April 15, 2020

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

As I mentioned in my column two weeks ago, knowing what to write about during these difficult days is very challenging. What I want to do this week is to update an article written in April of 2015. Living and applying the Golden Rule is more important than ever and, in some cases, more demanding.

First, let me say over the past four or five weeks, I have sensed a much higher level of consideration and care for others.  What is different, this time is the length of this crisis.  We are sheltering in place, are cut off from so many of our favorite activities, friends, and in some cases, “cooped up” non-stop with family members. As these weeks of uncertainty go by, I believe we may have to put forth more effort than ever to keep the peace, keep sane, and maintain our relationship with others. On the other hand, all these restrictions can be an opportunity to reconnect with others, whether it be by phone, doing things with our families, and being helpful to those in need.

Right now, we live in a pressure-filled world. For those who are still working in essential businesses, there is not only the pressure of routine work but a genuine threat to their health.  In recent years we have properly recognized healthcare workers, emergency responders, including police and firefighters.  But I think it is time to show genuine appreciation for those working in food stores, auto repair shops, and other deemed essential industries. We all have problems–some minor and others major–and we need to treat others the way we want to be treated.

All of us need to be cognizant of those around us. The variety of experiences Americans are facing has never been so great. Many people are worried about their jobs, some are furloughed, while others are working unbelievable hours. How we respond to all of this also has to vary.  Sometimes it means encouraging others. At other times it might mean just minding our own business. The Golden Rule poignantly reminds us it is not all about us! Practicing the Golden Rule is easier said than done, but we are called to this higher standard.

1. Buscher, in an insightful blog, “6 Ways to Abide by the Golden Rule in the Workplace,” provides helpful suggestions on how we can apply the spirit of the Golden Rule in parts of our lives. I’ll paraphrase five of these and briefly illustrate them. First, respect others with reasonable deadlines or work requirements. Patience right now is a real virtue. For those still working in this environment we need to set fair deadlines, and frankly consider removing or delaying other job requirements and expectations temporarily

Second, if we are feeling emotional or under pressure (who isn’t), take a little time to calm down before we interact with others. I have found sometimes that what is on my mind can wait a few hours or maybe until the next day.  If you must deal with a problematic issue with another person, carefully assess where they are at. Thinking about how we would want to be treated is a good indicator, not only on what we say but when we say it. A new challenge for many of us is getting used to using the telephone again. While e-mailing and messaging have become prevalent, it is fraught with risks. Most times, face-to-face conversations are best in dealing with difficult challenges. But since that is not possible, in many cases right now, I’d suggest brushing up on your phone skills. An excellence reference is https://www.wikihow.com/Effectively-Communicate-over-the-Phone

Third, we need to develop an interest in those around us. A 2017 study by the Economist showed an encouraging trend that parents are now spending almost twice the amount of time with children as they did 50 years. We need to look at the sheltering in place and homeschooling as an opportunity for even more time and interaction. Chances are, 20 or 30 years from now, children will remember the age of the COVID-19 as a period they had the opportunity to spend both more quality and quantity time with their parents. The other side of sheltering in place, though, is older people in high risks groups may be starved for attention. With proper precautions, make a special effort to visit with them in person (when safe) or on the phone.

Fourth, and one of the most apparent and most neglected implications of the Golden Rule is to say thank you and acknowledge outstanding work. Survey after survey indicates that most employees value recognition and appreciation as high as or higher than a larger paycheck. It must be sincere and based on actual excellent work. Otherwise, it will be seen as manipulative and can backfire.  It really is okay these days to say thanks to those working in stores and elsewhere for their “service” to us.

Fifth, understand mistakes will be made. While accountability is necessary, understand the reasons for errors or failure. It is how we want to be treated if it was our mistake, especially now—grant grace to others.

In the final analysis, applying the Golden Rule is not so much about applying a rule as having a mindset of kindness and respect.

Don Daake, MBA, Ph.D.is Professor Emeritus at Olivet Nazarene University. He can be contacted through the Daily Journal at editors@daily-journal.com or directly at ddaake@olivet.edu

 

 

Learning from the “Greatest Generation” on Coping with Difficult Times

Published in the Kankakee Daily Journal April 1, 2020

By Dr. Don Daake

Undoubtedly this has been the most challenging week ever for me to come up with an appropriate topic to write about.  All of us are experiencing new challenges that were entirely unanticipated six weeks ago.  Perhaps the most difficult thing about this virus outbreak is that we are living this in “real-time.” And there is no clear direction of where this is headed.

For us baby boomers and Xers, we have lived through some harrowing times.  The very first traumatic event that I remember was the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. As children, we were instructed to learn to how to “duck and cover.” But that passed in a matter of a few weeks.  Next was the assignation of President Kennedy in 1963. That was a loss that affected the whole country, but again the country got back to normal in a couple of months. The year 1964 saw the tragic assignation of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King.  We then had the trauma of the Viet Nam War.

In more recent times: the explosion of two space shuttles in the 1980s, the stock market crash of 1987 and again in 2008, 9/11 mass shootings and numerous wars in the Middle East. Chances are, you remember the exact place you were at when you heard about some of these nightmare events.  I say all this, not to depress us but to help us realize that we have been through tough times before.

The word “crisis” has been bandied around so much in the last 50 years that we have become immune to it. But the Covin-19 is a true catastrophe. Again what is different about this is it impacts virtually every American, and we don’t know when it will be over. At first, this calamity was seen as yet another hyped-up news story. But we now know that it is going to last for a while. We all have our stories of sacrifice this time.

Barbara and I flew out to Seattle about four weeks ago to see our daughter. Even though Washington State was hit early, we were very cautious. When we were trying to fly home, the magnitude of the disaster really hit. We had several canceled flights and eventually a reroute from Seattle to Las Vegas and then back to Chicago. The Seattle flight had only 35 passengers. When we ultimately got to Midway, the airport was a ghost town. All the restaurants were closed. We needed to get something to eat. The only place open was a bookshop, where we found some candy and trail mix to tide us over.

Over the last few days, we have limited our outings to a few trips for necessities. But as the crisis deepens in Illinois, we will most certainly “lockdown” ourselves even more. One thing I would suggest, though, is still getting out and walking or jumping in your car and taking an hour’s ride. (Gas at $1.57 or lower, makes it a good investment for your mental health). Maybe even drive through Dairy Queen for a treat.

With plenty of time to reflect on things, I have concluded that even with our present difficulties, we have so much to be thankful for.  I’ve been thinking about how much more difficult the “Greatest Generation” had it. People born from about 1901 to 1927, not only went through two world wars but a depression that lasted almost ten years. Communications were limited, and no one had any idea how long the uncertainty would last. In World War II, millions of sons and daughters were sent into a war that, in its early stages, looked like we could not win.  Those left behind might not hear from them for weeks or months on end. And there was the real possibility of military personnel showing up at your door with dreadful news. During the depression, year after year, millions were unemployed or near subsistence.

The present Covin-19 crisis is the most substantial challenge in our lifetimes.  I had often heard about the suffering and sacrifice of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The current situation, even though we have it much better than they did, has finally given me a realistic glimpse of what they went through and survived.  It is no longer just a cognitive acknowledgment. For most of us, this experience is profoundly emotional. Let me briefly mention four things that the previous generation did that can help us today.

First, they had a deep abiding faith in God. Whether on the battlefield, in the factory, or taking care of the young, they were prayerfully expecting the best outcome and a future. Secondly, there was a sense of sacrifice beyond the normal. Some, of course, sacrificed more than others. Today the new heroes I believe are the health care workers, the store clerks, farmers, factory workers, law enforcement, and first responders who continue to work in critical industries. Thirdly, during the World Wars and the Depression, people shared not only with their family but with neighbors and those they did not even know.  If you are able, with safety in mind, ask what you can do for others.  We have found that making more phone calls to people we know encourages both them and us.  Also, now is an excellent time to donate to one of your favorite charities since many of them are being asked to serve more people with fewer resources.  Finally, like those of the greatest generation, be kinder to everyone you deal with.

While we enjoyed our time in Seattle, the people were much more restrained and less friendly. We were so glad to get back to the Midwest.  By nature, I think we are more welcoming than anywhere in the country. So go ahead, step up your level of kindness, helpfulness, and even charm. Let me end this with a quote from John H. Groberg  “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”

 

Don Daake, MBA, Ph.D.is Professor Emeritus at Olivet Nazarene University. He can be contacted through the Daily Journal at editors@daily-journal.com or directly at ddaake@olivet.edu